Funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.4 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Humor Ifs Shows Talk to me Want
If that had been my last show last night, you'd be talking to the new guy, asking the same questions that I got. — David Mandel Copy Share Image
I would do another talk show if it was the way that I wanted to do it. Like, you can't tell me what we're… — Leah Remini Copy Share Image
I don't think I'd be a very good talk show host. I mean, I'm very talkative but I don't know if I could do… — Emma Roberts Copy Share Image
I know what I don't know. I would seek out, as I have, the best advice that exists. I won't get my information from… — Jeb Bush Copy Share Image
I'm not one of the guys who talks a lot, I don't enjoy that, I've always believed in just going out there and putting… — Cub Swanson Copy Share Image
If you talk in a way that is too dissimilar to the character, when people are showing up to see you talk about the… — Zach Woods Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I… — Andy Richter Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
