Humor Quote by MaryJanice Davidson

“Eric came to Macy's? Did he burst into flames the moment he passed the first cash register?” quote by MaryJanice Davidson — Download Open image

““Eric came to Macy's? Did he burst into flames the moment he passed the first cash register?””

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More by MaryJanice Davidson

“…and who are you, anyway?" "I'm Tina.” "Thank goodness!” I said so loudly she stepped back. "No silly-ass overdone names for you, m'girl.” "It's…

MaryJanice Davidson

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“I mean, not that I killed her just to get the car, or anything.”

MaryJanice Davidson

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“Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?” “Oh, look who’s talking, Miss Let’s Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we’ve got a dead Marc and a live Marc in the same timeline . . . in the same house! Thanks to you, I got chomped on by a dim,…

MaryJanice Davidson

“I'm the wife of a king, and the mother of kings. And I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. So fuck off, Jack.- Queen Christina (The Royal Treatment)”

MaryJanice Davidson

All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep…

MaryJanice Davidson

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Back off, boys. You don't want to mess with an out-of-work secretary. We're real testy.

MaryJanice Davidson

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“A grumpy vampire is a homicidal vampire. Hungry ones were even worse.”

MaryJanice Davidson

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“Getting gratitude is becoming a thing with you, but even so, you're the worst Antichrist ever," Jessica said. "Which is actually comforting. Stay close.”

MaryJanice Davidson

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“Then she (Queen Christina) stood with the Prince and grinned like a monkey and waved like a fucked-up prom queen while about a thousand…

MaryJanice Davidson

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“George paid for college by working for Cutco. Cutco is a company that makes and sells knives. Their salespeople go door-to-door. George Pinkman talked…

MaryJanice Davidson

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Never let your fiend off his leash unless there's lots of room to run (and no people around).

MaryJanice Davidson

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“It's Privacy, Please, for the Penguins.”

MaryJanice Davidson

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Explore all 113 MaryJanice Davidson quotes

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'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly. Bane rolled his eyes and stage whispered: 'She asked why I cared so much about getting her dirty, teary face all my new shirt earlier, and asked where I got it from anyway. I said: 'Guess',…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just…

Nora Ephron