Bed Quote by Jay Leno

My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

— Tom Arnold

Stop, look, listen Great advice not only for crossing the road, but also when you're mid-wink and suspect your wife is home.

— Green Monk

I’m in for work at 6.30am and one of the last to leave. I don’t want to go home. We have beds at the…

— Phil Neville

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

— Henny Youngman

Did you know if you say Fuck Me 3 times in the window at 1 am your wife will tell you to wear your…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife obviously would like to have her husband right next to her. I keep telling her inshaAllah we will be together in paradise.

— Junaid Jamshed

When you're in bed and you're married to someone, don't fart under the covers and trap her under the covers, because she gets pissed.

— Ashton Kutcher

Don't wife her cause she's a bad b*tch, wife her cause she was there when you ain't have sh*t.

— Pretty Ladii

Never go in a place that you wouldn't take your wife.

— David Gene Gibbs

She knows where she's going, and what she has to do. She could, after all, find her way to Route 95 South blindfolded. She…

— Alice Hoffman

Madelyne, we're married now. 'Tis a usual occurrence to bed one's wife on the wedding night.

— Julie Garwood

Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.

— Rodney Dangerfield