Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““Pet my 3:33 pm like it’s a beard. Live it, but don’t lick it.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.9 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I’ve got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes it more fun to pet my gums.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Beards were like axehound pups. Boys dreamed of the day they'd get one, never realizing how annoying they could be.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Give me a cat over a kid any day. You can open up a bag of Meow Mix, plop it down on the floor… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I prefer pets to people,because they leave teeth marks deep in your skin for the world to see, whilst people scratch you up from… — Holly Riordan Copy Share Image
“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a beard of grass. I grew it on my back, and sometimes my neighbor mows it for me. Meow!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Anything goes when everyone knows Where do you hide when their highs are your lows? So much, so hard, so long, so tired, Let… — Penelope Douglas Copy Share Image
“They treat me like some sort of pet cat but claws I have, and claws I will use” — Paul Doherty Copy Share Image
“If I were a hairy man, I’d never pat myself on the back, because with all that fur, a pat would turn into a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Eww. You need to shave. The next time I see that hairy ass I’m callin’ the zoo to come groom you.” — Jennifer Foor Copy Share Image
“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take it for a walk.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
