Children Quote by David Sedaris

“I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube.”

— Jarod Kintz

“He gave out a victory-fart, but although this one was long and smelly, it was silent. His asshole was now a broken squeeze-box that…

— Stephen King

“The old man was in agony because of gas. He farted tremendously, and then he belched.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

“That tight little accent grated on Clay’s frayed nerves. He thought that if it had been a fart, it would have been the kind…

— Stephen King

“What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he be grateful for all that Mom and Dad did for him, instead of— Cornhole the ear-cunt.…

— George Saunders

“He was flabbergasted. That was the best word. His flabber had been thoroughly gasted.”

— Cora Carmack

“He was young and tall, his hair was the color of fresh corn, his fingers were as thick as cigars, and he had his…

— Peter Baida

“I had been reduced to jelly by a brassiere.”

— Rosen Trevithick

“He had had a habit throughout the twenty-seven years of making a narrow remark which, like a plumber’s snake, could work its way through…

— Grace Paley

“He listened to his words fall as if from the mouth of another, and watched his father’s face, which received those words as a…

— John Williams

“Roiters said, “I always felt that the kid had blood on his hands.”

— Faye Kellerman