Alcohol Quote by David Letterman Download Open image “Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.” — David Letterman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Alcohol Combination Father Father'S Day Funny fathers day Funny happy fathers day Parenting Power tools Tools
“Every one of Dad’s colleagues would eventually commit suicide, most by gunshot to the head, and every woman in their circle except for my… — Tim Gunn Copy Share Image
Dad was just an emotional wreck. He was drinking a lot of the time, he was smoking a lot of pot. And because he… — Jack Osbourne Copy Share Image
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now. — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
“Nine hours, two pizzas, one fight, three instances of vomiting, a million whistles, tons of snacks, and countless drinks later, we learned that I… — Wendy Higgins Copy Share Image
I'm a father. It isn't just my life any more. I don't want my kid finding bottles in the house or seeing his father… — Billie Joe Armstrong Copy Share Image
There's sometimes a weird benefit to having an alcoholic, violent father. He really motivated me in that I never wanted to be anything like… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. — Jack Kerouac Copy Share Image
Stronger than alcohol, vaster than poetry, Ferment the freckled red bitterness of love! — Arthur Rimbaud Copy Share Image
And, when night Darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons Of Belial, flown with insolence and wine. — John Milton Copy Share Image
[As in the case of] alcohol prohibition, illegality has driven organized crime, sent countless people to jail, and killed many thousands. Repression does not… — Sam Branson Copy Share Image
You can get a new phone or new trainers (sneakers) but you've only got one body so you have to look after it. I… — Tyson Beckford Copy Share Image
Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the… — Marguerite Duras Copy Share Image
In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. — George Best Copy Share Image
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Blunt force didn't knock out the drug epidemic. 21 million Americans are addicted to drugs or alcohol. And half of all federal inmates are… — Michael Botticelli Copy Share Image
I go to parties sometimes until four, it's hard to leave when you can't find the door. — Joe Walsh Copy Share Image
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