Humor Quote by david james duncan

You know when you go somewhere and it's like a lot of fun and then you say, 'That place don't owe me nothing'? That's…

— Eva Marcille

“Go take out the trash, Potty Mouth.' She laughed and headed into the kitchen. 'Pissed!' she shouted as she walked through the dining room.…

— Kody Keplinger

I've watched my fair share of 'Housewives.' And I just felt a little dirty afterwards.

— Marti Noxon

“The best poops clean wipe!”

— Steven Magee

“If he thought this disgusting display of food porn was going to get her attention and maybe make her a little hot and bothered…

— Sylvain Reynard

“After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Will you folks excuse me, I have to go to…

— Jarod Kintz

“You emptied the top rack of the dishwasher but not the bottom, so the clean dishes have gotten all mixed up with the dirty…

— Lorrie Moore

“There I saw Chloe, freshly bathed, wrapped in a towel, eating fun-size butterfingers one after another like a chain smoker and watching me like…

— Emmy Laybourne

“I am a good housekeeper. You can eat off my kitchen floor. Just scoop all the crumbs together and you've got quite a meal.”

— Janene Murphy

“Television is a possum with a tapeworm, she thought; always hungry and it’ll feed on any garbage.”

— Sean Chercover

“A watched supper dish never fills!”

— Charles M. Schulz

Too often contestants make dishes that they would have never done or would never want to eat.

— Antonia Lofaso