Able Quote by Dave Barry

“I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.”

Dave Barry

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Able Basketball Dunking Eight Famous basketball Five Five years Funny basketball Good basketball Havens Past Slam Slam dunk Thirty Thirty eight Years

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This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…

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This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…

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The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That we live in a world were women actually expect you to think thoughtful thoughts, and have real emotions, which we don't have. Having to try to live up to the imaginary ideal that women have of…

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The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

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Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…

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He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

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If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…

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Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…

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“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…

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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.

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Explore all 867 Dave Barry quotes

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I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only increased my desire to be free, and set me to thinking of plans to gain my freedom. I have found that, to make a contented slave, it is necessary to make a thoughtless one. It is…

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I think I've had the longest career of strength, focus, and still being able to sell records. I think I'm that guy. I'm still blessed with the opportunity to make music and pass out a message like, 'Life is good,' to the world.

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I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it up in my persona. I felt like I wouldn't be able to do stand-up for a career if I was needy. I didn't want to be complaining or whining onstage. I wanted to be cool and…

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Thinking about the things that happened, I don't know any other ball player would could have done what he (Jackie Robinson) did. To be able to hit with everybody yelling at him. He had to block all that out, block out everything but this ball that is coming in at a hundred miles an hour and he's got a split…

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I wanted to remember in order to be able to return.

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Government schools, with your tax money, now discourage the teaching of multiplication tables by rote memorization but teach reading by the 'look-and-say' method which…

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