Charley-davidson-humor Quote by darynda Jones

“Our relationship was a lot like underwear in a dryer without a static control sheet. One minute we were floating through life, buoyant and carefree. The next we were attached at the crotch.” quote by darynda Jones — Download Open image

““Our relationship was a lot like underwear in a dryer without a static control sheet. One minute we were floating through life, buoyant and carefree. The next we were attached at the crotch.””

darynda Jones

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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

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I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…

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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!

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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.

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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

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“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…

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“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”

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“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”

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In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…

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“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”

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“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”

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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.

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“I was freaking her out, but someone had to do it, damn it”

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“suddenly I’m that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I’ll be boiling rabbits.”

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“The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?” Did he just say the F-word? “Ya not even foocking listening.” “Ha! This is great,” I said to…

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