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Why Quotes by Jack Handey
- If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying'. And if he asks why…
- Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — mank and…
- Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going…
- Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like…
- I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling…
- For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.
- I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood.…
- I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling…
- If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while? Come on, we're not going to hurt it.
- Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now.
- If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say,…
- Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
- I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun…
- If life deals you lemons, why not go kill somone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?
- A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go…
- When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I…
- I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but…
- Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the…
- I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little…
- The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a…
More Why Quotes
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- Aside from a handful of guys boxing is missing the good trainers, that's why our sport is so in the air now… — Alexis Arguello
- If someone is mad at you and you have no idea why, that means they are crazy. Or a girl. — Nikhil Saluja
- Why can't I just tell you how I feel? That you're constantly on my mind...that I'm crazy about you. Maybe it's because… — Superman
- You looked into my eyes and whispered that you wanted to be with me, all my heart wanted to do was say… — Superman
- I began writing at the age of 5, but there was a dark period between the ages of 8 and 16 when… — Margaret Atwood
- That's why I began doing makeup in the first place: I was hoping that through helping people see the beauty in themselves,… — Kevyn Aucoin
- Lovers O lovers, lovers it is time to set out from the world. I hear a drum in my soul's ear coming… — Unknown Author