"Whenever you read a good book, it's like……" — Jack Handey
"Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Author Quotes
This quote is filed under Author Quotes,
one of 1,140 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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If you feel that there's the author and then the character, then the book is not working. People have a…
— Margaret Atwood
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The difference is slight, to the influence of an author, whether he is read by five hundred readers, or by…
— Henry Adams
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After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new…
— Robert Benchley
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I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than…
— Robert Benchley
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There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first…
— Robert Benchley
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Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation upon which sincere and meaningful repentance must be built. If we…
— Ezra Taft Benson
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Once the curtain is raised, the actor is ceases to belong to himself. He belongs to his character, to his…
— Sarah Bernhardt
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You know, we love stories and we love narrative; we love to get lost in an author's world.
— Jeff Bezos
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I'm most impressed by the Russian writers, so I love reading the works of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. Another author who…
— Andrea Bocelli
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If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.
— Joyce Brothers
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Making a book is a craft, like making a clock; it needs more than native wit to be an author.
— Jean de la Bruyere
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The idea is to become a best-selling author first and then the rest of my books will be slam dunks.
— Nolan Bushnell
See all 1,140 Author Quotes »