"Not screaming in terror like his passengers." — Jack Handey

"Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

— Jack Handey

Beer Quotes Inspirational Quotes Passengers Quotes Screaming Quotes Terror Quotes Terror Like Quotes

397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you…

See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »

More Beer Quotes

This quote is filed under Beer Quotes, one of 1,136 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

High thoughts must have high language. — Aristophanes
Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered. — Wystan Hugh Auden
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom… — Roseanne Barr
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. — Dave Barry
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially… — Dave Barry
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? — Henry Ward Beecher
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,… — Brendan Behan
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. — Robert Benchley

See all 1,136 Beer Quotes »