"I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a……" — Jack Handey
"I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Always End Quotes
This quote is filed under Always End Quotes,
one of 137 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
— Douglas Adams
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The way I write my songs is that I have to believe what I'm writing about, and that's why they…
— Adele
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When small men attempt great enterprises, they always end by reducing them to the level of their mediocrity.
— Napoleon Bonaparte
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The prayer that begins with trustfulness, and passes on into waiting, will always end in thankfulness, triumph, and praise.
— Alexander MacLaren
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And in that moment I possessed and lost the whole world and everything in it and was left with the…
— Ann Rinaldi
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Pleasure that is obtained by unreasonable and unsuitable cost must always end in pain.
— Samuel Johnson
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Wherever a man may happen to turn, whatever a man may undertake, he will always end up by returning to…
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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When you have a taste for exceptional people, you always end up meeting them everywhere.
— Pierre Mac Orlan
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I think artists almost always end up turning to what's around them, what's in their environment or outside their window.
— Susan Rothenberg
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I'm not particularly good at coping with it. I just cope. I just leave my brain at the door and…
— Robert Pattinson
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They showed each other that it was alright for their hearts to come out and play; that it was alright…
— Carlos Salinas de Gortari
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Reforms in Russia are very tragic, but they always end in a farce.
— Oscar Wilde
See all 137 Always End Quotes »