"If I could be a bird, I'd be……" — Jack Handey
"If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
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It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Airplane Quotes
This quote is filed under Airplane Quotes,
one of 502 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
— Robert Benchley
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I've spent my life as an airplane mechanic, pilot, aircraft manufacturer and airline CEO who never lost a life or…
— Gordon Bethune
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I'm not going to jump out of airplanes or anything like someone else I know.
— Barbara Bush
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Innovation is hard. It really is. Because most people don't get it. Remember, the automobile, the airplane, the telephone, these…
— Nolan Bushnell
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I went to the University of Washington as a physics and astronomy major. My other interest, of course, was aviation.…
— Michael P. Anderson
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Our borders are much too porous...We want to keep them open, but we also have to be much more careful.…
— Charles Schumer
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Can a physicist visualize an electron? The electron is materially inconceivable and yet, it is so perfectly known through its…
— Wernher von Braun
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I am well convinced that Aerial Navigation will form a most prominent feature in the progress of civilization.
— George Cayley
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Let us hope that the advent of a successful flying machine, now only dimly foreseen and nevertheless thought to be…
— Octave Chanute
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Nothing will ever equal that moment of joyous excitement which filled my whole being when I felt myself flying away…
— Unknown Author
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To invent an airplane is nothing. To build one is something. But to fly is everything.
— Otto Lilienthal
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MaCleod, since you've flown the SeaBee a lot you'll understand when I say it was the only airplane I ever…
— Ernest K. Gann
See all 502 Airplane Quotes »