"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For……" — Jack Handey
"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man.""
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Astronaut Quotes
This quote is filed under Astronaut Quotes,
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As a boy, because I was born and raised in Ohio, about 60 miles north of Dayton, the legends of…
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I fully expected that, by the end of the century, we would have achieved substantially more than we actually did.
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I thought the attractions of being an astronaut were actually, not so much the Moon, but flying in a completely…
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I wanted to be a secret agent and an astronaut, preferably at the same time.
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The purpose of going to Mars is for humans to first begin to occupy, permanently, another planet in the solar…
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To send humans back to the moon would not be advancing. It would be more than 50 years after the…
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Being a leading man... that's like saying, 'I want to be astronaut.' That's not going to happen.
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I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my…
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Some of the senior people, the very senior astronauts, shook my hand and said, 'K.C., you did a great job.…
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