"I think a new, different kind of bowling……" — Jack Handey
"I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood. I don't know why we should do this, but my God, we've got to try something!"
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bowling Quotes
This quote is filed under Bowling Quotes,
one of 123 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even throw…
— Jeff Bridges
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I'm happy when I'm juggling, but I feel like I've gone from, like, 3 balls to 10 bowling balls. But,…
— Kirstie Alley
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This…
— George Carlin
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What's society going to be like when the kids today are phenomenally good at text messaging and spend a huge…
— Clifford Stoll
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All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts…
— Mike Royko
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In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for…
— Dave Barry
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A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter,…
— Lee Trevino
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A run is more difficult to make than no save, because batting is in its nature a far less certain…
— Unknown Author
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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does…
— Dave Barry
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And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
— Woody Harrelson
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Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
— John Goodman
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It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley.
— Aubrey Plaza
See all 123 Bowling Quotes »