Sarcastic Quotes

891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. — Oscar Wilde
It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel. — Woody Allen
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. — Hector Hugh Munro
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. — Oscar Wilde
She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. — C.S. Lewis
He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating. — Ayn Rand
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed. — Laurell K. Hamilton
This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. — Lorrie Moore
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. — Kurt Vonnegut
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin
People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien. — Bill Watterson
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit. — W. Somerset Maugham
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able… — Douglas Adams
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If… — George Carlin
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. — David Gerrold
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? — George Carlin
Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies — John Cleese
She is a peacock in everything but beauty! — Oscar Wilde
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right! — Mae West
Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying. — Mae West
Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes. — Mae West

Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes

449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: