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Comedy Quotes by Chelsea Handler
- Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come…
- Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
- We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
- My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for…
- Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
- At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then…
- I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
- My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another…
- You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
- Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.
- I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
More Comedy Quotes
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- One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships… — J. J. Abrams
- When I was a kid, among the other embarrassing things I would do, and there's a list of stupid things, but I… — J. J. Abrams
- Comedy, drama, Westerns, sci-fi... it's all fine if the story's compelling and the character is interesting to me. I do like action… — Jensen Ackles
- I will never say never, but I will say never to doing the more typical romantic comedies. You know, unless I'm getting… — Christian Bale
- I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr
- I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one… — Todd Barry