"I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint.……" — Chelsea Handler

"I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a person, and just because vodka accounts for 50 percent of my body weight, that doesn't mean I walk around with a vodka drip, forcing every plant, person, or animal to imbibe. I've always had a disliking for animal trainers, and this guy cemented my theory that people who chaperone animals for a living have never had a girl sit on their face."

— Chelsea Handler

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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler

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More Accounts Quotes

This quote is filed under Accounts Quotes, one of 1,374 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but… — Isaac Asimov
A soul which gives itself to prayer, either much or little, should on no account be kept within narrow bounds. — Teresa of Avila
Science and technology multiply around us. To an increasing extent they dictate the languages in which we speak and think.… — J. G. Ballard
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited… — Douglas Adams
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. — Douglas Adams
Do not measure your loss by itself; if you do, it will seem intolerable; but if you will take all… — Saint Basil
With regard to donations always expect the most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts. — Joseph Addison
To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine. — Max Beerbohm
There is an immense, painful longing for a broader, more flexible, fuller, more coherent, more comprehensive account of what we… — Saul Bellow
To me, it really seems visible today that ethics is not something exterior to the economy, which, as technical matter,… — Pope Benedict XVI
I've never had a bank account in Switzerland since 1984. Why would the Swiss do this to me? Maybe the… — Benazir Bhutto
No matter how you cut it, this real debate on personal accounts is about the legitimacy of Social Security; it's… — Joe Biden

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