"I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need……" — Chelsea Handler
"I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking."
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Chelsea Handler
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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
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My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
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Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
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Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…
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Christina Aguilera finally announced her pregnancy. Thanks for waiting until your third trimester to get the word out—why not just…
See all 107 quotes by Chelsea Handler »
More Asshole Quotes
This quote is filed under Asshole Quotes,
one of 331 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.
— George Carlin
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee,…
— George Carlin
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Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another,…
— George Carlin
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few…
— George Carlin
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Recently I've been looking for something new. The past few projects I've worked on, I keep getting cast as the…
— Dave Franco
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It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming,…
— David Henry
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Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.
— Francois Ozon
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Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain / An asshole, that role…
— Eminem
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I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole,
— Morgan Freeman
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Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.
— Nick Offerman
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole…
— Demetri Martin
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It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.
— Greg Proops
See all 331 Asshole Quotes »