"I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages……" — George Carlin

"I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."; "Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one."; "If you drink long enough, at some point you will vomit up the lining of your stomach."; "Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.""

— George Carlin

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546 Quotes by George Carlin

George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Alcohol Quotes

This quote is filed under Alcohol Quotes, one of 1,156 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken. — Aristotle
On average, drug prisoners spend more time in federal prison than rapists, who often get out on early release because… — Michael Badnarik
Drug prohibition has caused gang warfare and other violent crimes by raising the prices of drugs so much that vicious… — Michael Badnarik
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
According to Teenage Research Unlimited, 51 percent of 13-15 year olds say they will be faced with making a decision… — Xavier Becerra
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,… — Brendan Behan
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley
I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. — George Best
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. — Ambrose Bierce
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. — Humphrey Bogart
Never accept a drink from a urologist. — Erma Bombeck
Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for. — Christian Nestell Bovee

See all 1,156 Alcohol Quotes »