"We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since……" — Chelsea Handler
"We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception."
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Chelsea Handler
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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
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My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
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Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
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Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…
See all 107 quotes by Chelsea Handler »
More Comedy Quotes
This quote is filed under Comedy Quotes,
one of 2,637 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about…
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When I was a kid, among the other embarrassing things I would do, and there's a list of stupid things,…
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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to…
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Comedy, drama, Westerns, sci-fi... it's all fine if the story's compelling and the character is interesting to me. I do…
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Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I…
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The only thing I would unequivocally say is that I have never had any interest in romantic comedy I just…
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I will never say never, but I will say never to doing the more typical romantic comedies. You know, unless…
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In terms of the romantic kind of lead, I just never enjoy those movies very much. Maybe they'll come to…
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I would never say never to returning to comedy.
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By the time I finished comedy, I was really burnt out of it. I had had enough. I don't really…
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
— Roseanne Barr
See all 2,637 Comedy Quotes »