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Comedy Quotes by Eddie Izzard
- No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea.…
- There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
- I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.
- Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis…
- Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.
- I am two lesbians in a man's body.
- There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!
- Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even…
- Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them…
- Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 gibberish. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You"
- And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
- Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.
- I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
- I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
- If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
- I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
- I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the…
- I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis…
- [Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea, youre gonna roll over and cut your bits off.
- It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance. And thats why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang…
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