Just when I start to think I lack talent, I sneeze and fart at the same time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who cares about the Key to a woman's heart when whisKey is the quickest Key to her panties. — Nikhil Saluja Woman's Heart Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should have a man by the balls is when she's sucking on them. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
The British Royal Family had to be Gujjus - love travelling & have visited every country on planet Earth. — Nikhil Saluja Planet earth Copy Share Image
Twitters really just about tweeting dope shit and making girls you never met dream about you. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
I asked my girlfriend for a blow job today and she replied with, Well, what will I get? I'm guessing Herpes was… — Nikhil Saluja Blow job Copy Share Image
I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, What is left of a lover, after the nerve has been removed; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Respect my elders? I respect whoever respects me, regardless of age. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people . If I'm not there, I go… — Nikhil Saluja Every day Copy Share Image
If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If God only gave me a clear sign... like making a large deposit in my name at a swiss bank. — Nikhil Saluja God Copy Share Image
A Rabbit runs,jumps & lives only for 15 years! A Turtle doesn't run,does nothin yet lives for 300 years! Moral: EXERCISE IS… — Nikhil Saluja Fitness Copy Share Image
You are honorable... when you find your honor is to honor others. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
WIFE, A female who would rather mend your ways than your socks; — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
You're not in a real relationship until your girl gets mad at you in real life for something you did in her… — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Just because you're mad at someone, doesn't means you stop loving them. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If I unfollow you or block you, please don't take it personnely. Take it very personnely. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
LOVE, Man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman.... Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth — Nikhil Saluja Lie detector Copy Share Image
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up. — Nikhil Saluja Being fat Copy Share Image
People who quote-unquote themselves when talking with their fingers can go fuck themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
