If opportunity had a twitter account, it's not going to be knocking on anyone's door anytime soon. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when you have a conversation planned out in your head and the other person doesn't follow the rules. — Nikhil Saluja Communication Copy Share Image
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I ate sushi and pizza in the same day because my diet is a woman's Tumblr page. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wives are funny creatures. They don`t have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
You're so boring, Even if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back to you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I bet my relationships would be more stable if I dated non-existent people who died. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and relationships. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When you try to be different, you are being like everyone else. Being yourself is what makes you different. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Hey everybody on Twitter, I think we can cool it with all the jokes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My life flushed before my eyes! - a toilet after a near-death experience — Nikhil Saluja Death Copy Share Image
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. — Nikhil Saluja Pepper spray Copy Share Image
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I finally found it: Facebook is the family den. Twitter is the shed out back. — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
Good girls say no Bad girls say when? Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot. — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
Who needs the zoo when you can go to Walmart and see camel toes for free. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never cry for something you don't have... Let the others cry because they don't have you.! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I miss when I was Little, and didnt care about my weight, clothes or hair.., I just did what made me happy..! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Guys are obsessed with boobs. Almost as much as girls are obsessed with that text message the guy she likes sent her. — Nikhil Saluja Text message Copy Share Image
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you don't sleep naked I have no idea what you're doing with your life. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider What a web of lies! — Nikhil Saluja Medicine Copy Share Image
My weakness is women who say their weakness is Hot chocolate. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
