When a guy stares at you for long periods of time, he wishes you were his. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
Sorry, your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of… — Nikhil Saluja Sarcasm Copy Share Image
I don't know who Karma is, but that bitch sure does piss off a lot of people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being in the friend zone is like being a teddy bear. NOTICE that there is no penis on a teddy bear. — Nikhil Saluja Friend zone Copy Share Image
Think how miserable your sex life has to be to find the time to leave a comment on a porn video. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I'm not usually superstitious, but I really hope 13/13/13 isn't a Friday — Nikhil Saluja Friday Copy Share Image
When a girl cries, just yell happy things. YOGURT. PILATES. STOP CRYING PLEASE. — Nikhil Saluja Happy things Copy Share Image
I just came late to a meeting and this girl said 'better late than never' so I cut of her legs &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When somebody says Expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say You didn't expect that, did you? — Nikhil Saluja Expect the unexpected Copy Share Image
The secrets of a happy marriage...Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Def leppard Copy Share Image
If the people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive. — Nikhil Saluja Horror movies Copy Share Image
If no one has ever caught me masturbating, have I even masturbated at all? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I think back, & ask myself Wow was I drunk during that relationship? — Nikhil Saluja Relationship Copy Share Image
I have been married to my wife 10 years today, Having sex with just one person in 10yrs is pure dedication. I… — Nikhil Saluja Having sex Copy Share Image
Men tend to confuse & mistake a woman's friendly behavior & interaction for flirting. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies/ Bad girls know they could do it better Naughty girls do it with whips… — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Somewhere in the world there's a fat guy jumping in a pool with his shirt on. This tweet is for you fat… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls wear white cotton panties Bad girls don't wear any Naughty girls don't really give a shit — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says This day couldn't get any worse I immediately punch them in nose & ask Are you sure about that? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
