Christmas shopping for you has made me realize that I know absolutely nothing about you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I can't make it to your holiday party that I'm pretending to attend to get out of going to another holiday… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Tis the season to drink too much with the coworkers, family, and friends who are the reason you drink too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have sex with you until Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of Santa in that you work about one day a year and spend the other 364 days judging. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A holiday miracle would be still fitting into my clothes after the holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Rest assured your drunken comments at the office holiday party can't be any more awkward than your sober comments in meetings. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don't bring up your school's horrifying pedophiliac sex scandal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May this be the year your significant other gives you a better gift than your Secret Santa does. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd gladly take your eight days of Hanukkah over our six weeks of Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy holidays from someone using environmental friendliness as an excuse for being too cheap and lazy to send a real card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm helping the environment this holiday season by immediately recycling your Christmas card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's hoping Santa is able to deliver all his toys before he's shot by an NRA member. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“In my country childhood, we had many Christmas traditions: the fun and adventure of cutting down a tree from our ranch, hilarious… — Larada Horner-Miller Copy Share Image
