Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have sex with you until Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're sad about being single this holiday season, remember that even Kim Kardashian is unmarried 293 days a year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope being at your parent's house this holiday break doesn't drive you nuts since you may be living there soon. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whether you're offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don't really mean either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not getting you a holiday present because I know you don't like writing thank-you notes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy holidays from someone using environmental friendliness as an excuse for being too cheap and lazy to send a real card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If not for Santa, Jesus would be my favorite fictional bearded guy that gets celebrated in December. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's hoping Santa is able to deliver all his toys before he's shot by an NRA member. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't believe you're alone over the holidays considering how easy you are to get into bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
