Hilarious christmas Quote by Anonymous

No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a…

— Al Smith

Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He…

— Craig Ferguson

Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.

— Chelsea Handler

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

— Phyllis Diller

Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.

— Anonymous

Lets be naughty and save Santa the trip.

— Gary Allan

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

— Gary Allan

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

— Conan O'Brien

Its almost Christmas and Santa's making his list, if you see him before I do, tell him all I want this Christmas is you.

— Ray Jay Kay

If Santa is a messenger of God than Christmas will be more beautiful if Santa reach to the kids who actually needs him.

— Nishan Panwar

Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or…

— David Letterman

Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.

— Jim Lovell