Nikhil Saluja

Not to brag but I'm such a polite bitch, I'll tell you excuse me and shut the fuck up in the same…

— Nikhil Saluja

No need for revenge - Just sit back and wait...those that hurt you will eventually screw up all by themselves.!

— Nikhil Saluja

When girls vent to girls; you poor thing. When guys vent to guys; stop being a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I missed your call, please send a text that says I called you.

— Nikhil Saluja

To be honest with you, I don't like blowjobs... I fucking love them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes your knight in Shining armor is just an idiot in tin foil.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being rude to someone who treated you badly is wrong. Just smile and spend the next few days planning their accidental death.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know those tweets that make you think I wish I thought of that? Retweet those.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out

— Nikhil Saluja

My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate knowing that I care more about other people than other people will ever care about me

— Nikhil Saluja

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just decided to be more original so from now on I'll be posting pictures of food I eat and tweet 'Good morning'…

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't tell her the plans you made. Just text her out of nowhere and tell her to get dressed.

— Nikhil Saluja

People on a diet should have a salad dressing called 250 Islands.

— Nikhil Saluja

You have to know the Rules of the Game, Then you have to Play better than anyone else!

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is not so much finding the right person -- but being the right person;

— Nikhil Saluja

If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money

— Nikhil Saluja

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies/ Bad girls know they could do it better Naughty girls do it with whips…

— Nikhil Saluja

Guys: wanna make your woman feel speechless? Shove your dick in her mouth mid-sentence.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is a fine line between what you just tweeted and what you see in a big tits girl.

— Nikhil Saluja

What is the biggest benefit of having a Girlfriend or Boyfriend in the same school where you study? - '100 PERCENT ATTENDANCE'

— Nikhil Saluja

Porn should automatically turn on when they hear the words, I can't sleep.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You help your dog chase its tail.

— Nikhil Saluja

Why are you so funny? If she asks this question, you got her. She is yours.

— Nikhil Saluja

True beauty comes from within. So search for it with your heart...instead of your eyes!

— Nikhil Saluja

When a guy stares at you for long periods of time, he wishes you were his.

— Nikhil Saluja

I totally woke up on the wrong side of the conference table this afternoon.

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman Never Say: That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to…

— Nikhil Saluja

Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, You don't have AIDS, do you?

— Nikhil Saluja

I thought I loved her, but she had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is

— Nikhil Saluja

Failure doesnt mean you have accomplished nothing¦.. it does mean you have learned something!

— Nikhil Saluja

Thinking of punching these random street people in the face is an excellent way to waste an evening.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how Poor you think you are., If you have A Family, you have Everything & Rich.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are two sides to conversations. Mine and IDontGiveADamnAbout yours.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.

— Nikhil Saluja

The funny thing about Twitter is you can subtweet one person and it makes 20 others think it's about them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Makeup sex: when I 'make up' some shit like, girl I still love you just so I can fuck.

— Nikhil Saluja