President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code - they don't like anything that makes more money in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson was involved in a three-car crash this weekend. I understand that no one was hurt, but I understand that two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry fell off of his bicycle over the weekend. He went for a Sunday afternoon ride, fell off in front of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, 'I miss Saturday mornings rolling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Republicans finally got some good news over the weekend. The North Koreans set off a nuclear bomb. Thank God. It was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
