One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We use up words like 'spiritual' so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago spiritual had a distinct meaning. But now there's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I use the word 'fat'. I use that word because that's what people are: they're fat. They're not bulky; they're not large,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Early in my career I was divided because I had the real self underneath: the lawbreaker, the anarchist, the person who swims… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It's a big club and you ain't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The ending of my experience with cocaine came in a periodic way. I would get high less frequently, I would use smaller… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“I use the [vulgar] words because apparently these words do not corrupt morally. I'm from the street in New York, hung around in a tough neighborhood. It was common to curse, you make your point. It's a very effective language. I try not to overdo it. It's never to shock. I know where it fits, it's…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/17c/george-carlin-155_common_i-use-the-vulgar-words-because-apparentl_2276939.jpg)
