“A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and intellectually. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My last name comes after my first name, but it came before my first name, and it’ll be around after my first… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“His last name was Morris, but I called him Mars, because it’s like he was from another planet, like Venus. He was… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (if the phone book… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to give myself a ridiculous nickname. Something like “Knuckle Cock,” only not so flowery and romantic sounding.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“His last name was Worthless. Or was that just the perfect word to describe him? Shouldn’t our names summarize who we are?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Call me Bitter Otter. It’s just a nickname I gave myself. However, a better descriptive and more realistic name for myself would… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If your name is Alex Andrew Aaron, and you are a straight-A student, is it because your initials are AAA, because your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
