“I’m a one-man show. I need to start a band. You wanna join? Too bad! What about one-man band don’t you understand?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Mr. Bass, would you say you fish a lot? Or do you prefer strumming stringed instruments?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpist, violinist, bassist,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: the ear trumpet. Don’t bother snickering at me—I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored. And the band is kept there. Auditions… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love played an instrument, I’ll bet it would be the piano. 88 keys, double infinity, and the ability to chop down… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as deaf as Beethoven to enjoy it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The bands of color in a rainbow remind me of my band, Bands of Color. We’re not very musical, but we sure… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Me and my clones will form a band called The Eels. I’ll be one of the most electrifying performers of all time.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to drum up interest for instruments that are played by beating them with sticks.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
