“Music is inaudible to deaf people, just as dancing is invisible to me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m lyrically illiterate. Actually, more accurately, I can’t read music.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let the dancing flow!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I ran a few miles, Davis, and they were musical. Then I made love like the sound of a trumpet, as heard… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play her music and they’ll want to kill… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The smell of coffee was enough to wake up my neighbors. In a display of gratitude, they complained about my music being… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Elevators are supposed to smell like urine. That's what make the jazz playing through the overhead speakers sound more authentic.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To save the environment—and my childhood memories, I merged a gas station pump with a jukebox. Look, my car now runs on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only Bob Dylan knows which of his songs belong in the trash and which belong in the garbage. I’m so ignorant, I’d… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“An ideal first date should involve things like a candle-lit dinner, soft music, and a binary anal defibrillator, with a guest appearance… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make magical music. And no, I’m not talking about sex and wailing orgasms, you pervert. That’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were learning to compose music like Mozart, and I was learning to listen like Beethoven.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my name were Nubby Blues, I wouldn't be a jazz musician, I'd be a disabled Vietnam vet on welfare.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Music enters through the ear, not the penis hole. This is probably a common mistake most deaf men make.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The outer bands of the tropical storm didn’t play as good of music as the inner bands near the eye did.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as deaf as Beethoven to enjoy it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If anybody can appreciate fine music, it's me. I mean who else can hit multiple octaves with their armpits?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: the ear trumpet. Don’t bother snickering at me—I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you were to ask me what kind of musical sound I aspire to produce, that noise would be a wet nipple… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“U2 makes music for guys who have ears and can hear. But U2 makes concert imagery for guys who need visual stimulation… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
