I understand the chairman of the Senate Ethics comittee is going to examine the check-bouncing scandal with a microscope. ...makes sense... If… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I always tell new people in show business. I say, "Look, show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you're… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With high definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Clinton says he looks forward to the day a citizen can call the IRS and get the right answer to a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The New York Times is reporting that back in the '60s, presidential candidate Howard Dean used a letter from a doctor about… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One of the Taliban spokesmen said they have thousands of men who look forward to death like Americans look forward to living,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don't know . . . The only time I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry keeping a low profile this week. He said he wanted to get away and go someplace where no one would… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Italian authorities seized $6 trillion worth of fake, worthless U.S. Treasury bonds. Pretty good counterfeit job, too. They look just like the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
