I took a lie dectector test today, actually I didnt really that was a lie. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
Working at the magic shop really gave me a sense of comedy because it was all jokes. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
At some point, you realize that people might be laughing at your jokes because they're afraid not to laugh. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take… — M.J. McGuire Copy Share Image
Some of the best jokes are about funerals or people dying or whatever. Laughter and tears are two sides of the same… — Mark Bonnar Copy Share Image
I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
“One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher” — J.E.B. Spredemann Copy Share Image
Iceland is 50 percent Celtic blood, from the females that they stole from us, which is why our country has only got… — Gerard Butler Copy Share Image
I was drunk when I had my picture taken for my drivers license. That way, when the police pulls me over, I… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window . . . . . to see the moon & stars. . . . . . . . . . 2013 Kids : I want my bed near the . . . . . mobile charging slot.. — Julie Prince Copy Share Image
The most profound indication of social malignancy ... no sense of humor. None of the monoliths could take a joke. — Edward Albee Copy Share Image
If life is merely a joke, the question still remains: for whose amusement? No one knows what he can do till he… — Publilius Syrus Copy Share Image
There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
I'm not making fun of it because I want to make fun of it. I'm making fun of it so I feel… — Pete Davidson Copy Share Image
I think that every show on television has its place. I think Married With Children or, I don't know, The Nanny... some… — Peter Krause Copy Share Image
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute,… — Ronnie Barker Copy Share Image
I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“Hey, dragon!" Jay said loudly. The dragon opened one eye. "How can you tell if you have a dragon in your bathroom?… — Greg Farshtey Copy Share Image
If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
When you making a piece of comedy entertainment, the audience is a big component there. You do have to end up getting… — Jason H. Moore Copy Share Image
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out. — Tyler Posey Copy Share Image
My mom says pigs dont eat biscuits¦ So I better take that one out of your hand. — Curly Copy Share Image
It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke. — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke. — Carla Bley Copy Share Image
Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh. — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
Some jokes are not made to laugh, they're created by those who just want to bark !! — Senoraroy Copy Share Image
It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke. — Martin McDonagh Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world so incomprehensible as the joke we do not see. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. — Larry David Copy Share Image
If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes. — Horace Copy Share Image
