Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... Made myself a sandwich. — Persia Copy Share Image
I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Catering on planes, like on British Rail, is a standing joke, but I don't really have a problem with it. I don't… — Phil Collins Copy Share Image
You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that. — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
I remember a long, long day of filming and it took forever to get Kirk Douglas up on his cross. We played… — Jean Simmons Copy Share Image
At d beginning of any relationship evry girl treats hr bf as GOD. Bt later on somehow d alphabets get reversed. — AB Copy Share Image
I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Twenty Four hours After United States concluded the Presidential election. The winner Mr Barack Obama is celebrating his victory. The Nigerian President… — Horla Copy Share Image
An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of view, so I looked out the kitchen… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get… — Sophia Bush Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My doctor said to me afterwards, 'When you were ill you behaved like a true philosopher. Every time you came to yourself… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
I was just doing it for fun. I was in college recording music as a joke, so I really didn't think that… — Cakes da killa Copy Share Image
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually… — Frank Muir Copy Share Image
It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I don't do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
When it comes to African Americans and African American actors, Hollywood has always felt that if you can make us laugh, that's… — Hill Harper Copy Share Image
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
