Growing up, the one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to laugh at my jokes wherever I went. — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
If I want to keep working as an actor, I'm going to become a comedian who does fart jokes. — Peter Sarsgaard Copy Share Image
Cubans joke and satirize everything that life gives them, and I think that's a positive characteristic. — Fernando Perez Copy Share Image
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off. — Sanaa Lathan Copy Share Image
You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great… — Joel Klein Copy Share Image
If somebody said about me, 'I don't think his jokes are good, I don't think he's a good comedian,' I don't like… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I joke around that if I weren't a musician, I would be a power lifter. I don't think people expect it… — Mirah Copy Share Image
In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can… — Julie Delpy Copy Share Image
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He… — Dick Cavett Copy Share Image
I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly… — Emily Henderson Copy Share Image
I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
There is a fact-based belief system available to you if you want to believe in facts. But this is the weirdest time.… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
I have this JPM thing: jokes per minute. I've worked out that I should get in about 12 punchlines in five minutes.… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I have found the secret KEY to success... All I need to do now is... To find the DOOR...” — Nelson M. Lubao Copy Share Image
Michael Jackson was a joker to his core. He loved a good joke especially if it's displayed on somebody else. — Siedah Garrett Copy Share Image
The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch. — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that. — Allen Toussaint Copy Share Image
Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing. — Jennifer Saunders Copy Share Image
The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
There nothing wrong with talking to your toys, it is wrong when they start answering your — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other.. I was a cartoon character. A joke. — Ann-Margret Copy Share Image
I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North Copy Share Image
![“First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.” quote by Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a31/stephen-colbert-503_bongs_first-in-high-school-i-smoked-a-lot-of-p_1076307.jpg)
