Humor Quotes by Jerry Coleman · Page 3

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

— Jerry Coleman

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

— Jerry Coleman

I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.

— Jerry Coleman

The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.

— Jerry Coleman

Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.

— Jerry Coleman

Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.

— Jerry Coleman

I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.

— Jerry Coleman

We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!

— Jerry Coleman

The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going…

— Jerry Coleman

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in…

— Jerry Coleman

You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.

— Jerry Coleman

Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.

— Jerry Coleman

Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.

— Jerry Coleman

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for…

— Jerry Coleman

Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.

— Jerry Coleman

The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to…

— Jerry Coleman

I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.

— Jerry Coleman

Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.

— Jerry Coleman

On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.

— Jerry Coleman

Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.

— Jerry Coleman

Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.

— Jerry Coleman

That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.

— Jerry Coleman

Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.

— Jerry Coleman

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

— Jerry Coleman

Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.

— Jerry Coleman

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.

— Jerry Coleman

You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.

— Jerry Coleman

Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.

— Jerry Coleman

Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.

— Jerry Coleman

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

— Jerry Coleman

George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

— Jerry Coleman

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

— Jerry Coleman

A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.

— Jerry Coleman

The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!

— Jerry Coleman

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.

— Jerry Coleman

Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because…

— Jerry Coleman