Best way to get out of a text convo: "The message could not be delivered due to a temporary network setup error.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Give a compliment to a fat chick today, she'll literally remember you until the day she dies... Because elephants never forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a bra is called an 'over the shoulder bolder holder' then would you call men's underwear 'under the but nut hut' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Old meaning of sorry. I wont do it again. New meaning of sorry. Damn I got caught, next time I need to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you are sleeping, I hope I am the person that wake you up till you are showing me some saliva that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sucks when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, and suddenly she's not your friend anymore!!! ~Sean Stafford — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
A frustrated husband in front of his laptop: Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife. Allow me to complete my… — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
