I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mother texted me 'What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?' I answered: 'I dont know, love u, talk to u later.'… — Faris Copy Share Image
Social sites may ruin your relationship but it also help you in getting new one. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I received a dollar for every facebook post that was posted in a month I would be richer than Bill Gates. — Damian Coleman Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone asked me: How do you feel if you didn't update your facebook status in a day? Me: Well I feel like… — Simphiwe Scientist Dumi Copy Share Image
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Why do people feel stronger on Saturdays and Sundays? because all other days are Weak days!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
