I'm really sorry I offended you when I called you a slut. I honestly had no idea you it was a secret. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who needs the young and the restless, when we can watch drama on Facebook anytime? — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla. — Ashley Copy Share Image
Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If internet was a human being; Every time he slow, I will put extra coffee to him — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? Woman means:We haven't had a fight in a while. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
