Apparently you aren't allowed to have problems if you aren't a starving african child or a delhi rape victim. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This ho says boy I got high heels bigger than your dick, sikee reply bitch I got sneakers fresher than your Pussy... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
I looked out the window & watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes & thought WOW dogs are so easily… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
My pokemon's brings all the nerds to the yard, and there like, Do you wanna trade cards damn right I wanna trade… — Syoung Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pick up a phone call and wish you didn't because the caller's asking for something you don't… — Saramae Copy Share Image
I dont understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I just bashed my head on the keyboard and accidently wrote the 5th Twilight book! — Rexxy Rhode Copy Share Image
When I'm almost done banging a chick I hear the Mortal Kombat voice in my head FINISH HER — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Guys use the word friendship to start a relationship. Girls use the word friendship to end it... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex...I was just thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works.... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny? Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral. Johnny asks: What is oral? Grandpa… — Daniel Vargas Copy Share Image
Nicki Minaj being a judge on American Idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice. — Miley McCormick Copy Share Image
