You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky. — Nate Copy Share Image
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out — Christine Copy Share Image
Right now is a great time to be a woman in tech, but there's not enough women in tech, — Marissa Mayer Copy Share Image
I wish I remotely made enough money from my labor to afford a Labor Day vacation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not interested in being one of those comedians who wants to look good and be this 'cool' funny person. I don't… — Chris Lilley Copy Share Image
What I thought I was going to do over the summer: hang with friends, have a party, go swimming, go to the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Approach your guitar intelligently, and if there are limits, don't deny them. Work within your restrictions. Somethings you can do better than… — Chet Atkins Copy Share Image
I'm boycotting Bastille Day because I'm still upset about France not supporting a war we were totally wrong about. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When you have something that close to you, you want to make sure that you're aware of it. — Lucy Liu Copy Share Image
You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. — Colin Powell Copy Share Image
Scrolling down your inbox and remembering each memory in every text message. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't truly rest until every area in your life rests in God. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
With so many girls pregnant at school, condoms should be on the supply list. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
I think I gravitate towards people who express themselves in a simple and funny way. — John Slattery Copy Share Image
“Is a joke truly funny when we laugh at it, or is it merely some aberration of our frontal lobe?” — Gerald Schroeder Copy Share Image
The path may not be left for an instant. If it could be left, it would not be the path. — Confucius Copy Share Image
A candle burns to give brightness while a woman burns to brighten your life/personality. — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
If you talk about what you believe, you will attract those who believe what you believe. — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
No, indeed; I don't know anything. You see, I am stuffed, so I have no brains at all. — L. Frank Baum Copy Share Image
My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do I Look like a grocery item to you?ÿ?ÿ? I see you checking me out!! — Generose Relano Copy Share Image
There's nothing cute or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
If there is anyone who owes everything to Bach, it is certainly God. — Emile M. Cioran Copy Share Image
Bitches b like long hair dont care known damn well they shit shorter than a Instagram video — IG:Catone_2funny Copy Share Image
