“I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.” — Voltaire Copy Share Image
You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me. — John O'Hurley Copy Share Image
LOVE surely comes from the heart…but I suspect that even the BOOBS in front contribute a lot... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There was something wrong with me, I thought, because I seemed to see things other people didn't see. — John Lennon Copy Share Image
Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
As a teenager, I found a lot of courage through people on the television being funny or subversive. — Simon Amstell Copy Share Image
Prepare for the new; expect the new; embrace the new. Otherwise, you'll just repeat what's old. — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
FACT of GOOGLE: 50% of the people use it well..as a search engine… The other 50% of the people use it to… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“The reason why a man cannot stop staring at a woman ass is only because God has spent 80 percent of his… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“Very helpful, I must say. Look at them in the eye and shout, and they understand every word..." (Mr. Warbeck in Sienna,… — Hilary McKay Copy Share Image
Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his: "I really didn't say everything I… — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
Females: I'ma slap that b*tch when I see her, she got me f*cked up! Girl walks past. She lucky she ain't look… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
