The only B word you should call a female is beautiful... Trust me the bitches love that! — Marcus Ybarra Copy Share Image
... perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never once went to a prostitute, maybe because so many enthusiastic amateurs were around. — Alexander Sutherland Neill Copy Share Image
If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one?" she asked him, indulging herself and… — Erin McCarthy Copy Share Image
“You just punched a prince, Alina. I guess we can add one more act of treason to our list.” I shook out… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
There are very funny people who aren't good at Twitter and people who are really good on Twitter where that's the best… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image