It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Must a man then live as his fellows live, and never reach beyond?" —Georyn — Sylvia Engdahl Copy Share Image
“Spanish—how shall I say this?—is like Portuguese spoken with a speech impediment.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
That which is measured improves. That which is measured and reported improves exponentially. — Karl Pearson Copy Share Image
Happiness should always remain a bit incomplete. After all, dreams are boundless. — Anatoly Karpov Copy Share Image
Mom, thanks for providing me with love that's as never-ending as your voice mails. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have lost my phone. Please call it so I can find it. -sent via Andriod phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“Eros mumbled something. "I'm sorry?" said Aphrodite. "Whatwouldjesusdo." "What would Jesus do?" said Aphrodite. "Let me tell you something. Jesus was a… — Marie Phillips Copy Share Image
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Excuse me for a moment, will ye. I think I have to talk to the river,' he said unsteadily and flopped over… — Ian Livingstone Copy Share Image
How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“As a youth I got my jollies by confronting my professors with facts that ran completely contrary to what they were trying… — Lia Habel Copy Share Image
I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because… — Dave Navarro Copy Share Image
