Funny Quotes · Page 43

It’s actually pretty easy to be contrarian. It’s hard to be contrarian and right.

— Reid Hoffman

I've gone through several cycles. When I was little, I was the cute kid with missing teeth and funny one-liners. Then I…

— Gregory Smith

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

— Bob Hope

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing…

— Matt Groening

“The policemen agreed they were living with a most peculiar fellow. One moment he was reading classical literature in the original French…

— Ben MacIntyre

I love boys, yes I do, I love boys, how bout you.

— Kim Urbina

Even though quality cannot be defined, you know what quality is.

— Robert M. Pirsig

What I think is funny is when people, despite tragic situations, are still hopeful, still trying. It's sweet and sad - and,…

— Casey Wilson

Apparently some don't realize that you can see them through glass. Therefore... Stop picking your nose while driving!

— ZHAT

I could never cheat in a relationship... That would require TWO people finding me attractive. I can barely find one.

— Ritu Ghatourey

I remember as a kid liking long, funny words. And often being into things like that can be perceived as square. But…

— Konnie Huq

Ever since the world ended, I don't go out as much

— Mose Allison

Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".

— Jerry Coleman

It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.

— Jerry Coleman

Uh-huh, uh-huh, ohhhh, yeeeeeeeaaaah, who's your daddy...

— J.R. Ward

I do not see myself as a footnote to someone else's life.

— Martha Gellhorn

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would…

— Bob Monkhouse

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

— Anonymous

See? Things are already looking promising.

— Richelle Mead

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of…

— Mitch Hedberg

If you are confident you have done everything possible to prepare yourself, then there is nothing to fear.

— Michael Jordan

Dear Middle School Girl Who Thinks She's a Victoria's Secret Model, Mind if I Borrow a Tissue? Sincerely, It's Fallin Out Of…

— Anonymous

I don't want to be better than you or her or him - I want to be better than I am right…

— Kerri Walsh

Even when I lose faith in myself there is something in me that speaks through and says I am not finished yet.

— T.I

When I seek another word for 'music', I never find any other word than 'Venice'

— Friedrich Nietzsche