Funny Quotes · Page 36

A friend of everyone is a friend of no one

— Aristotle

Those who follow the crowd will never be followed by the crowd.

— James Hunter

“I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept,…

— Cynthia Hand

I don't know. I'm really really really nervous.

— Nadine Coyle

I secretly had this name 'Nancy and Beth' come into my mind, and I thought, 'Oh my God, that's such a funny,…

— Megan Mullally

“I do not go to church. I don’t go to Christian church or Jew church or any other church. I don’t go…

— Michael Ian Black

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.

— Frank Zappa

With no object no image and no focus, what are you looking at? You are looking at you looking.

— James Turrell

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

— Bob Hope

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am…

— Lalu Prasad Yadav

We turn to Marx, therefore, not because he is infallible, but because he is inescapable.

— Robert Heilbroner

I have no help to send, therefore I must go myself.

— J. R. R. Tolkien

About 90% of the high scores in mobile games are made either in the toilet or in a lecture or while preparing…

— Punkinhead Abhishek

I Swear My Pillow could be a hairstylist, cos I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

— Charles

Could I but know all, I would have the faith of a Breton peasant woman

— Louis Pasteur

The greatest thing about Facebook is that you can quote anyone without actually getting it right and nobody will know the difference

— George Washington

You cannot impart what you do not possess.

— Howard G. Hendricks

The food channel is basically just porn for your stomach.

— Anonymous

Of all the things in life that could frighten you, you worry about my driving?

— Megan Marie

When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, I throw them out because I don't…

— Anonymous

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

— Nikhil Saluja

“Listen, Harr,y can I have a go on it? Can I?" "I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet!" said…

— J.K. Rowling

“Rhage raised his hand. "Pastor Ass-hat, I have a question." "Yes, my son, you ARE going to hell." Lassiter made the sign…

— J.R. Ward

“Food for thought: Every dead body on Mount Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends. It may save…

— Oliver Markus Malloy

For Halloween I'm just gonna wear no makeup and natural hair and go as a monster.

— Anonymous